We all love to dream about who is bigger, someone less. We dream of a dizzying career, of love, of a beautiful dress for graduation, everyone has her own, valuable, desirable, close or far away. Parents dream that their children will choose an interesting or highly paid profession, become famous, will succeed where they have not achieved, that they will create their own family and give grandchildren parents. So many things to dream about.
I try not to think about the future, not to think far ahead and set short-term goals. Now progress has been made with speech, which means we need to consolidate it and work in this direction further. Next year there is a trip to school. We also need to prepare for the school, we must teach it to sit at the desk, which means we must work on attention and arbitrariness. It is necessary to prepare mentally for the fact that she will study according to an individual program, that they will not teach her in the way they taught me or how the children of my friends teach. We must also prepare for this. Get ready, not dream. I never dreamed that my daughter would go to school type 8. Therefore, one must get used to it and one must accept it.
What will happen after school? I dont know. Now there are technical schools and colleges that accept children with disabilities and teach such professions as gardening, cutting and sewing, maybe there are some other directions, we have only these two. And this is very good. If you have the opportunity to learn the profession and earn money on your own – it’s just great. But I don’t know if she will be able to master one of these professions. I’m scared that she will be dependent on me.
Once, we arrived at the beach in the Big Utrish Reserve and, swimming with Alice in the sea, I saw two adult women. It was a mother and a daughter, a daughter’s Down syndrome. The ladies are already both adults, mom, in my opinion, is about 60, my daughter is hard to say, 30-40, probably. And, in spite of the fact that the daughter was already a grown man, she acted like a child, a very quiet, obedient, naive child. Mom led her by the handle to swim, helped to stay on the water. Both of them smiled and were quite pleased with the rest. I was very scared at this moment. I imagined that the same thing awaits us. And, perhaps, we will gradually get used to it and it won’t seem so scary, but I’m damn afraid of it. This fear makes me drive pity and teach my daughter independence, but sometimes it breaks through and covers with my head.
I’m afraid that when we are gone she will be left completely alone, I’m afraid that she will spend her life in a boarding school, I’m afraid that they will offend her. I do not want her to become a burden to the eldest son. I want him to be happy and create his own family, but I hope that when we are gone he will not leave her.
That is why I try not to think about it constantly, I rejoice in small victories, of which, I very much hope, will grow our very big victory – independence and independence. I dream that my children will be happy, albeit each in their own way, but happy!