Get out of my head

When I was a child, I sincerely did not understand how this is so in the books they write: “I forbade myself to think about it.” Is it possible to get out of your head a thought that worries you, how can you forget about what disturbs you with a simple effort of will. After all, if there is any problem, some unresolved question, and any situation that has unsettled you, you will still think about it, worry about it, and lose the scenarios in your head. Well, you can’t just take it and switch, think about something else, neutral. Compared to this, everything will be fresh, gray, so slightly smooth that the brain does not manage to catch on, thoughts spin, but invariably slide off to stumble again and again on what you really want to distract from.

I remember how in the 10th grade we introduced a new subject that wore a project form, “Proof”, an interesting subject that reveals mathematics to us as a detective story, with an exciting plot. The class for classes was divided into 2 groups, for the first there was a very convenient time on Wednesdays, immediately after the lessons, the participants of the second had to come in the evening. In the first group, our teacher of algebra and geometry asked those who live far away who have additional classes in the evening to come. It turned out that all my friends belong to this category, the second group included classmates with whom I had neither common themes nor interests, to be honest, I was terribly shy and had no idea how to behave. That is why I silently began to come on Wednesdays, although I lived in a 3-minute walk from school and was not busy with any additional activities.

So, this thought that I was deceiving the teacher took possession of my consciousness so much that I began to dream of unpleasant, exhausting images. It would seem a trifle, but our whole life consists of such trifles, and the way we behave in this case largely defines us as individuals. I never differed in strong character, nor in determination and courage, but two weeks of moral torment so proved that in one of the lessons I talked about my cunning and … nothing happened. Absolutely calmly, I was allowed to stay in this group, because adults, and especially teachers, often see and understand the situation much better than it seems to us as a teenager.

So why am I leading this? For two weeks I tried in vain to let go of the situation and stop thinking about it, but nothing came of it until she decided. And this quite everyday case only confirmed me in the thought that only heroes invented by the authors can “get out of my head”.