Special or sick?

In one of the previous articles, they criticized me that I did not call a spade a spade and that they were not special, but sick. The question is actually very sensitive and I wanted to figure it out.

To begin with, I climbed into the dictionaries and found out that the patient is affected by some disease (Ozhegov’s dictionary). Well, here, in principle, everything is clear and simple. The dictionary does not give an understanding that the patient is bad, low-quality, defective, not even a hint. Now we need to figure out what is a disease. If, for example, everything with autism is quite straightforward and is called a disease in the medical literature, then it is not so simple with a delay in mental or psycho-speech development (ZPR or ZPRR). ZPR implies a lag in the development of higher mental functions from the age norm. This is not a disease. But ZPR is a very common diagnosis, especially in babies under 3 years old. Most often, it all starts with ZPR, however, it is not a fact that if the child was diagnosed with this, then he will subsequently be re-qualified as autism, alalia, mental retardation, or something similarly serious. Some of the children with ZPR successfully overcome this diagnosis and catch up with their peers by school. Therefore, in my opinion the word sick to 3 years to use in relation to a child who by some criteria lags behind their peers is not entirely appropriate. On the other hand, it cannot be denied that the word patient is quite applicable to children diagnosed with autism, alalia, mental retardation, etc.

                “As you call a boat, it will float.”

Recognizing that a child has problems is very difficult. Many parents feel guilty, feel inferior, resentful of the world, angry with doctors, many successfully overcome these destructive feelings. But in order to overcome them, you need to get used to the new conditions, you must somehow adapt to them. And very often the word “sick” is very slow in this process. It happens, it seems, that if only I put up with the fact that my child is sick, then I admit that he has no chance, then I put an end to his further development. That is why parents do not always immediately decide on disability. It seems that this is a stigma, that one can never get rid of it later, that it means giving up. We ourselves went to this decision for 3 years. Of course, it is easier, calmer and more pleasant for a parent to call their child special. Let’s just think what they mean.

Sometimes people think that parents, calling their child special:

1.They hide from reality and do not recognize his problems.
2. Thus elevate him above the rest of the children, require some special conditions, special treatment.

In fact, everything is simpler, in this case special – having features in development. While the child is small, it is not yet clear whether he will be able to overcome these characteristics and catch up with peers or not. If the parents did not apply for disability, it is also incorrect to call the child disabled. When issued, then this also needs to get used to. I still try not to advertise it. For example, in a clinic where children with disabilities have the right to go to the doctor without waiting in line. It’s easier for me to calmly stand in line than to explain to others why they should let me through. I am much more pleased when others do not know about the diagnosis of my child, when it differs little from other children. Therefore, yes, I am more pleased to call her special than the patient. The patient often causes pity, I do not want to cause pity among others, from this I begin to feel miserable, having some kind of breakdown. Therefore, it is easier and more pleasant for me, and more importantly, it is much more productive to call your child special, not like everyone else, than sick. Perhaps these are just my cockroaches, but I would like people to understand why and why parents call their children special, special, sunny children, etc.

Moreover, the term “special child” has already firmly entered our lives and many people understand it, even having no idea what Asperger syndrome, sensorimotor alalia or ADHD are.