How we made a child disability in Anapa. Part one.

It’s time to talk about how we went through the quest “Make a child’s disability”. I will say right away that I expected much worse.

I didn’t think about disability registration and for a long time thought that our problems are completely solvable and temporary. For the first time about disability I was told, even in Surgut, by our neurologist, in whom we had been observed for the second year. By the way, she was the first to say that Alice had not just ZPR, but sensorimotor alalia and other related diagnoses. At that time, our daughter was only 4 years old, we had already known about development problems for 1.5 years and tried to find a solution, although neurologists did not see any problems in the Surgut Children’s Clinic and said that our development fits well with the norm. It is worth noting that, nevertheless, without problems, we were registered in a hospital, where we underwent exercise therapy, massage, paraffin therapy and even classes in the pool. But this is all the lyrics and, probably, the standard way to find your own way in the treatment of your child, which every parent goes through when faced with similar problems. Today, our goal is to talk about a more formal procedure – registration of disability.

So, when I first heard from a neurologist that it would be nice to draw up a disability in order to be able to develop my daughter as efficiently as possible, I fell into a stupor. I was shocked because temporary difficulties suddenly became a heavy unbearable burden. Disability is serious. How to accept that your child is disabled? Probably, it will be necessary to write a post about how we adopted this phrase and were able to recognize that we need it.

At this moment, I consulted a lot with different specialists, I was afraid that I would put an indelible mark on my child and cross out many perspectives in the future. It turned out that everything is not so scary. Getting a pink certificate is much more difficult than abandoning it. Present it anywhere or advertise a purely personal matter. Most often, its presentation is necessary for registration of benefits. I brought a copy to kindergarten so as not to pay daughters for staying there. Since we go to a group for special children, there were no changes in the attitude towards the child.

And yet, we started to design already in Anapa, only when my daughter turned 6 years old.

The first step is to determine which of the doctors you will be registered with, and this is the doctor whom you are registered with according to the main diagnosis. We were registered with a neurologist, but since Alice was 6 years old, we were transferred to a psychiatrist and we registered a disability in psychiatry. Many are afraid to get registered with a psychiatrist and try to go through neurology. It doesn’t matter to me, since the diagnosis will not change anyway, but to be afraid that in the future my daughter will have problems getting, for example, a driver’s license, it’s strange for me, as I understand that she’s unlikely to drive. Although, in such a situation, of course, each parent decides for himself and only his choice will be right and right, since each case is unique.

So, we decided on a doctor, and she gave us a referral to the Specialized Clinical Psychiatric Hospital No. 1 of the Ministry of Health of the Krasnodar Territory, where a psychiatrist and psychologist should have examined us and issued a conclusion indicating whether or not there was a reason for disability. Our trip to this hospital was the most difficult stage in moral terms, but not because everything was so scary there, but because Alice had a terrible tantrum and very resisted the campaign. Since we live in Anapa, the trip to Krasnodar began at 4 in the morning to be there in the morning, go through the commission as quickly as possible and take a walk in the Galitsky park. We quickly found Krasnaya Street, it turned out that there was a whole hospital complex, and so that in vain not to drag a child, Alice and dad stayed in the car, and I went in search of the right building. It turned out to be difficult to find, I spent about 40 minutes, probably went around in a circle and found an inconspicuous building, which was hidden around the corner of a military school. She quickly took shape in the registry and stomped back behind the main patient. It’s good that I found a shorter way. And here Alice said her trademark: “AAAAAAAA”, flatly refused to get out of the car, fell into a tantrum when she no longer hears anything and it is pointless to persuade. We had to take it with my husband in turn, along the way one watchful grandfather almost called the police, but nothing happened. The psychiatrist we got to heard Alice long before we entered the building. I draw your attention to the following documents requested at the reception:

• birth certificate original
• parent’s passport original
• original direction
• a characteristic from a kindergarten (I had no idea that it was needed and if we were not from Anapa, but from Krasnodar, for example, Alice would behave quietly and peacefully would not accept us, but an exception was made for us, although warned that next time they wouldn’t accept without a characteristic).
• Many say that they are also asking to bring the PMPK conclusion with them, we did not watch it.

After filling out the necessary consent for inspection, transfer of personal data, etc. we were allowed into the office. At first, only I came in, Alice stayed with dad in the corridor. By the way, our dad was in the corridor between two fires, on the one hand Alice, who was crying and rushing home, on the other, a boy of about her age, who laughs out loud, as she reacts to stress with a laugh. According to her husband, at that moment he simply repeated to himself: “I’m a flower, I grow on the field, I feel good and calm” J I answered the standard questions of a psychiatrist about what worries me in the development of my daughter, what problems are in behavior, what treatment pass, etc. Then they brought Alice, she had already calmed down a little by that time and even assembled the puzzles that the doctor had given her, assembled the picture, then the pyramid, though the pyramid was wrong. She ignored the requests of the psychiatrist to give her this or that toy, while trying to distract her with toys, she threw one at the doctor, almost hit. After that, we were sent to a psychologist. Here the child’s hysteria flared up again, as she decided that the mission was completed and it was time to go home. For about 10 minutes we jumped and cried at the psychiatrist’s office until our dad looked at her and asked to see us, otherwise we will scare and start all the children who were there. The psychologist looked at us, standing on the threshold and allowed to go. After exhaling, Dad was left to wait for the conclusion, and we went back. In the car, Alice calmed down and quietly assembled puzzles in anticipation of her daddy. About half an hour, our dad waited for the conclusion and went to us, and since the way forward was passed in a stressful state and was absolutely not remembered, he successfully got lost on the way back. According to the law of meanness, the phone sat down as soon as the map and route were loaded. What can I say, lucky so lucky. To our mutual happiness, he did not stray for long. The cherished conclusion of the commission was in our hands. The conclusion stated: “mild mental retardation, with significant behavioral disorders requiring treatment and care, due to a complex of perinatal factors, with severe expressive speech disorder, autism syndrome, persistent neurosis-like enuresis. F 70.18. “

Nobody wanted to go for a walk in the park and, driven by the desire to get home as soon as possible, we waved to Anapa.

Now I understand that it was necessary to take Alice immediately with him and then, perhaps, there would not be such a tantrum, but the experience of the son of difficult mistakes and happened as it happened.

I thought that in one article I could manage to tell everything, but now I understand that it’s simply not possible to separate too many emotions and separate them from dry facts, so we will move in stages.

Therefore, to be continued …