Asked to leave for home schooling. An autistic child and a school.

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Today I will tell you how things are with the school. The day after we were hinted that it would be nice to transfer Alice to home schooling, she spent only one lesson at school. I got used to the fact that she doesn’t sit for less than 2 lessons, I decided to quickly go to my friends in Blagoveshchenskaya, take them a laptop repaired by my husband. It’s good that it’s only 15 minutes to go, because after the first lesson our teacher called and asked me to go to the director for a serious conversation. In the background, I could hear Alice crying hard. Of course, I expected that we would move from hints to open conversations sooner or later, but I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.

By the time I got there, I was already starting to shake from nerves. I called my husband, he said, don’t give up and I went. I was already met on the porch by a security guard, saying that my child was crying for the whole school and no one could calm her down. Alice was in the hallway with a speech pathologist who tried to calm her down. When she saw me, she calmed down and we went to the director. They were already waiting for us there. I took my daughter as a sorter, the defectologist went for our class teacher, and the director started a conversation.

She began by asking if Alice was taking any medications. And I was surprised to find out that there was no. We do not take nootropics, firstly (from the point of view of all the doctors we consulted, this is not necessary), secondly, we had no such problems with tantrums before. Well, very politely, very correctly, the director suggested that I think about transferring Alice to home schooling. Solely so that it would be easier for her to get used to the learning process. It turned out that as soon as the teacher stops sitting next to Alice and starts paying attention to other children, my daughter quits classes and starts going home or leads the teacher by the hand so that she only sits with her. She gave several examples of similar situations when, with the transfer to home schooling, the process went uphill and the children successfully adapted to school. At this stage, the homeroom teacher also joined us.

She told what a wonderful girl Alice is and how amazing she collects puzzles, but at the same time she takes all her time and the rest of the children are left unattended and attention. She asked what the doctors say about the speech, whether it will appear or not (she asks me this question every time we talk). I honestly answered that no one gives forecasts, maybe it will appear, or maybe not. In general, the director explained to me that their home schooling looks a little different from usual. In this case, the child also comes to school, but not 5, but 3 times a week and studies with the teacher one-on-one. In addition, a speech therapist and a speech pathologist are engaged with her. In order to switch to home schooling, it is necessary to visit a psychiatrist with whom we are being monitored and she will prepare documents for a medical commission. The latter will make a decision based on the conclusion of a psychiatrist and characteristics from the school. With this conclusion, we return to school and try to build the educational process in a new format. In addition, the director explained that Alice will participate in all extracurricular activities, holidays, etc. When she gets used to it, she will attend physical education and music with the class. In addition, she assured me that the conclusion of the medical commission is given only for one year and if everything goes well, then next year we will be able to return to class.

It should be noted that no one put pressure on me, the whole conversation was very calm, the director noted several times that in no case was I forced, that the choice was mine alone. I promised to think about it. That’s where we said goodbye. Already on the way out of school, Alice’s homeroom teacher came up to me and asked if she could call me in the evening. She said she didn’t agree with what was said today. I was very surprised and said I wouldn’t mind.

Already in the car, emotions came over me and I burst into tears. Probably more from the collapse of their hopes than from the conversation itself. I felt sorry for Alice, I felt sorry for myself, it seemed that this was the end of her training, that we did not succeed, we could not and nothing good awaits us further.

I cried out, calmed down and we went home. At home, while I was telling my husband, I cried again. I called the polyclinic, found out that an appointment with a psychiatrist is only two weeks in advance and you can only make an appointment in the morning. I decided that I would sign up in the morning and for two weeks we would think about what we should do.

After lunch, the homeroom teacher called. She said that when she saw my reaction, she realized that I was against home schooling. And for some reason, she began to say that she thought it was better for Alice to be in class with the children. I was taken aback, because it was absolutely the opposite of what was said in the morning at the director’s. I asked again about the doctors’ forecasts for the appearance of speech, told some encouraging examples from my practice about non-speaking children and repeated several times that no one can force me. I said that in the next 2 weeks we will go to class, and then we will see, but most likely we will switch to home schooling. That’s how they said goodbye.

After this conversation, I realized that we would go home-schooled. Not because the homeroom teacher is bad or I don’t like her. I just realized that they are not suitable for each other. It happens, the children are all different and the teachers are different and their approaches are also different. Someone does not tolerate when his voice is raised, someone sits on his head, if they talk to him, you can’t be good for everyone.

The prospect of picking up Alice after the first lesson, during which she was just collecting puzzles, and then she was going home, sobbed and they let her go, did not please me. Such a pastime in the classroom can hardly be called learning. Let him come to work one-on-one with a teacher, but he certainly does.

So we decided to switch to home schooling.

The continuation of this story is here.